So I’m getting ready this morning while Braden was in his Exersaucer playing. He starts carrying on and on until he is all out screaming. I can smell poop at this point (which is nothing new, something about the Exersaucer in the morning gets him too excited I guess). I finish putting the curlers in my hair and walk over and pick him up to change his diaper. As I turn to leave to room, I suddenly feel something cold and squishy land on my big toe. [Pause for mental picture and a few gags…] That’s right, poop lands on my foot. Not only is it on my foot, but I turn around to find it on the carpet and obviously all on the inside of his pants, EVERYWHERE!
I quickly switch Braden to a Superman position type hold (so that no more escapes his pants), and walk on my heel to the bathroom for some toilet paper to get cleaned up in order to walk to the other side of the house where his room is.
Once there I start the process of stripping his clothes off and cleaning him up when Braden adamantly starts to twist and turn so that he can be on his stomach [insert mind cursing here]. Now by this time, he is partly in the air as I am holding one leg up, while he is twisting, and I am trying to clean him off with the other hand. At this point, I am praying that a third appendage will grow out of my body to help hold him down, or wipe the beads of sweat that are forming on my forehead, or something. Poop is now on the changing pad, his socks, his arm, and his neck.
After about 20 minutes of cleaning him, changing everything, and starting a load of laundry, I was late logging on for work, and I still had poop in the crevasse of my toe nail [insert eye roll here].
We put a man on the moon people! Can we not make diapers to hold the crap in? Can I get an amen!?! Will it actually have to come to this?
I quickly switch Braden to a Superman position type hold (so that no more escapes his pants), and walk on my heel to the bathroom for some toilet paper to get cleaned up in order to walk to the other side of the house where his room is.
Once there I start the process of stripping his clothes off and cleaning him up when Braden adamantly starts to twist and turn so that he can be on his stomach [insert mind cursing here]. Now by this time, he is partly in the air as I am holding one leg up, while he is twisting, and I am trying to clean him off with the other hand. At this point, I am praying that a third appendage will grow out of my body to help hold him down, or wipe the beads of sweat that are forming on my forehead, or something. Poop is now on the changing pad, his socks, his arm, and his neck.
After about 20 minutes of cleaning him, changing everything, and starting a load of laundry, I was late logging on for work, and I still had poop in the crevasse of my toe nail [insert eye roll here].
We put a man on the moon people! Can we not make diapers to hold the crap in? Can I get an amen!?! Will it actually have to come to this?
And just in case you are wondering, my day has not gotten any better. Prime example: I need to go to the store, no food in the house. I found two stale tortillas, some ranch style beans, and some cheese to make burritos. Because the tortillas were stale, I ran some water over them and popped them in the microwave to soften them up. Word to the wise, that doesn’t work…
7 comments:
Ugh to the poop story. It is so nasty. Man, we have all been there and it is always the time that i think that it is time to potty train at two months old!
Hope your day got better.
that was a hilarious ROFLMAO story, but only because i've been there, done that, wiped that rear. . .and if i remember correctly, i was at church in the cry room and the rear i was wiping was YOURS! yup, history doth repeat itself. . . : )
I won't even say what we both know Lane would say to the poop story! It's still funny, though! What a rough morning - my heart really goes out to you!
Any mom can relate to this story. Just wait until they are walking and can take their own diaper off. Ava, during "nap" time, took off her diaper, pooped on the floor, stepped in it, and traced around her room. How did our mom's do it alone?
Hey there! Saw your blog on Lindsey H's...so glad you decided to join the blog world!!
I just knew I would love having you in blogland. Always good for some serious laughs! Not laughing at your expense mind you, just in general because we can all SO relate! Hope your weekend was good and made up for the madness!
I had that happen to me when C was 2 months old and we were at a Rangers game. I didn't get to change my clothes, so guess who had to sit alone all night---stinky me!
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